After an exhausting week of diplomatic mishmash around the Aegean, here's a quick synopsis of last week's installment of 'East Med Madness', the Greek soap opera hell-bent on starting some war with Turks:

Realizing that the paranoia prank does not deter Turkey from drilling, the Greeks resort to a slew of unconventional measures. First, an impromptu fire destroys the shelters of 13,000 refugees at the Moria camp on the island of Lesbos (Midilli), threatening Europe with a refugee invasion. 

France decides to lavish the Greeks with a controversial "Pax Mediterranean Sans Turquie", hosting leaders of Spain, Italy, Portugal, Malta, and Greece in Corsica. There they chant colonialist rants, stating "Turkish people deserve better than President Erdogan".

President Macron then kicks into high gear, baptizing the alliance with the sale of 18 Rafale fighter aircraft and a major military upgrade, which encourages the Greeks to arm 18 islands and violate international agreements.

Posing all innocent, President Sakellaropoulou flies to the contested itty-bitty island of Kastelorizo 2 miles off of the Turkish coast, while Greek soldiers embark on a rickety Hellenistic mission on civilian transport in full Trojan fashion.

The situation then alarms the Americans and they send Secretary Pompeo to pacify the pompous Greeks. He tells them that a couple of frigates are not enough for an invasion but the wailing gets worse. He signs an MoU between Greek Cyprus and the USA and leaves it to Turkey to deescalate the situation. Turkey decides to pause the drilling to disprove rumors of an invasion.

We try to take a break from all this by watching 'The Gift' on Netflix but the whirlwind of events there surpasses the Eastern Mediterranean dispute. A great cast and exceptional acting ease the pain of watching an 'Oktar meets Gulen' type of a world-domination cult, but the forced marriages of mystical characters ordered via telepathy make us worry about FETO's astral shenanigans.

Enticed to explore the occult, we install the 'Faladdin' app and brew some fresh Turkish coffee on our Okka Minio to receive a free reading. As we sip our coffee, we think of the cult executive and what devilish missions he would carry out in the East Med Madness.

We upload a photo of our coffee grounds and receive a free digital consultation that tells us to think like our opponent. Wondering if countries and regions do walk the planet in human form, we think of Turkey and the region, and the political hurdles following the establishment of Israel.

Our vloggers of the week help us with their day trip video in Tel Aviv. We look for Turkish traces there and discover Onza Restaurant. As we think of what Israel would look like in human form, we picture an American citizen fighting anti-semitism. Wondering if she would empathize with Turkish-Germans like Enver Simsek falling victim to Neo-Nazis in today's Germany, we plan on reading his daughter's memoir on the murders of the racist Neo-Nazi cult, NSU.

Cheering on Mustafa Kapi's transfer to the French club Lille, we pray for the success and welfare of all our expatriates.

Wishing you a safe week, free of racism. Best!